I’m a week behind with my normal Fall TV viewing schedule –
about 20 hours of programming – and all I can think about while I commute,
work, play on my cornhole league, have lunch with a friend, watch another friend’s
baby get baptized, and live my life, is what shows I’ve missed and how many
hours it will take until I’m “caught up.” If you think that sentence is absurd
- and perhaps more than a little sad - I’m mostly in agreement, but let me tell
you how I got here and how I plan to crawl back out.
It all started for me in Fall 2005 with a TiVo, a 20 inch
TV, a mild case of seasonal depression, and too much time on my hands as an
unemployed college student with a light course schedule. Lost, Heroes, Grey’s
Anatomy and a slew of other shows marking the beginning of the “golden age of
television” (although it is this writer’s opinion that there are no quotes
needed here, as it was a turning point for not only the medium, but also
innovative and captivating serial storytelling) had recently entered my life
and I was, for lack of a better word, hooked. Even with the DVR, I found that I
needed to be front row and center at 8pm EST for the programs I considered
“appointment viewing” – this was just before the internet and social media made
love with “must watch” television programming and pushed out a sweet, addictive,
synergized entertainment baby; before spoiler alerts, instant recaps, binge
watching, and “TV on your time” streaming 24/7 on Hulu/Amazon/Netflix/On Demand. My neglected roommates/BFFs – and who did not
share my slavish pop culture devotion – lamented that I was virtually
unreachable Sunday – Thursday from 8 – 11pm and lo, did they feel my wrath if
they dared to enter my room and speak to me during that time slot (unless it
was a commercial break, in which they had exactly 2 minutes to speak their
peace and leave). It was rough for all of us, and what started as mild teasing
and frustration on their part eventually lead to all out shouting, tears and
hurt feelings from all parties. Thus began my 10 year “struggle” with my
love/hate relationship with TV. Hi my name is Marie, and I’m a television
addict. (Hi Marie!)
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| Image Source: http://www.hbo.com/game-of-thrones/about/index.html |
As I’ve grown older and adult responsibilities have creeped
into my life – despite my best efforts – I have found it harder and harder to
maintain my devotion to my overlord TV while adulting. There have been a lot of
changes in the way I watch TV: I got rid of the ol’ TiVo sometime around 2012
and moved strictly to On Demand, Hulu Plus, Netflix, and the occasional live
viewing. I changed when I watched TV: I
made a promise to myself a number of years ago that I would prioritize my
work/family/friend obligations first and have, for the most part – barring the
season premiere/finales of a handful of shows watched by the majority of my
friends/family/human beings; Game of Thrones, Walking Dead, etc. – kept that
promise. (Although I’m sure there are
some in my social circle who would vehemently disagree with that assessment…)
However, I still feel that pull. To keep up; to be in the know; to not “miss
out.” I have had actual nightmares of being spoiled on major plot points or not
having anything to contribute to the water cooler discussion of last week’s
episode of Homeland (or how Homeland hasn’t been good since Season 1).
So I find ways to make it work. I keep a Google Sheets
shared doc with one of my BFFs and fellow pop culture slave that tracks what
shows we’re watching and how we’re watching them, how many episodes we are
behind – if we’re behind – and how many hours that adds up to for future
viewing planning purposes. When my
work/social life is sluggish – or it’s January – that spreadsheet gives me
peace. “Oh look! I only have 2.3 more
hours of TV to watch before I’m done!” Reaching these viewing goals becomes
like a personal mountain to climb or a marathon to run – only the sedentary,
couch potato version of that because the only moving I’m doing is to get snacks
or to empty my bladder. But the sad fact is that I’m never really done and that
spreadsheet likely causes me more anxiety than it does peace. There is always another show to binge,
another show to check out, another show I’m 3 episodes behind and “oh my god I
better catch up because this is my sister’s fav show and she will def spoil me
with her big fat word vomit mouth.”
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| Image Source: https://pmcvariety.files.wordpress.com/2014/09/the-walking-dead.jpg?w=670&h=377&crop=1 |
When you watch 90+ shows a year (Who even has that much free
time you may ask?? It helps to be single, childless, and have a small circle of
friends who either have their own priorities like kids and second jobs and
stuff, or who appreciate and mirror your own devotion to TV.), television
becomes a chore, a burden, a yoke upon my free time and peace of mind. And yet…
And yet… I would not – could not - give it up for the world. There are too many
great stories being told and yet to be told; stories that I have found or will
find. Stories that will captivate me, dig into my brain, and drag me along - a
willing victim - kicking and screaming and mourning another hour of my week
that is both lost and not lost. An hour with my imagination sparked, my
entertainment nodes a-firing, and my creative juices milked; and an hour I
could have spent talking to my mom, on a date, or learning a second language.
Thus is the lament of the geek, the obsessed, the pop culture addict: too many
things to read, watch, listen to, experience – and not nearly enough hours in
the day to experience them.
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| Image Source: https://u.osu.edu/uofye/files/2014/03/good-guy-netflix-meme-2-vgc5pq.jpg |
The only “recovery” I could see in my near future would be
one where I reassessed what programs are worth my time and culled the herd a
bit, so to speak. Maybe 40 shows a year
instead of 90! I could devote my free time to dating, exercising, and other
things I hate doing. Oh wait, what’s
that you say? Marvel’s releasing yet another spin-off TV series? Shonda Rhimes
has a new show in the works? X-FILES IS COMING BACK?!?! Huh… Maybe I’ll cut
back next year.
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